From the moment I brought you into this world I knew I would do anything for you. The pain I was going through to get you was nothing like I had ever felt before and I knew I would keep going because it was for you. That moment I looked into your eyes and got lost in those big beautiful pools of blue staring up at me, while asking why you weren’t crying like I thought you should be. Because she’s happy I was told.
From that moment I was finally left alone with you and I knew you were mine to keep and that fear and panic crept in, no matter how many books I had read I still had no idea what to do with you! From then I knew I would try my damn hardest to do my best for you even when I didn’t know what I should do for the best. From the moment I made my first choice on how to parent you and held you close all night in that hospital I knew I would keep you close forever.
When I first saw you smile at me and hold your arms out I knew it was because you felt the same. I was your comforter, protector and guardian and you felt safe with me and always will.
I’ve watched you fall over and I’ve picked you up. I’ve taught you rules I can’t remember ever not knowing. I’ve given you knowledge and shown you how to love. I’ve created friendships for you that have grown over the years. You have learned how to make people laugh and how to comfort them when they are sad. You know the value of money and have known when I’ve had limitations I’ve still always done my best to give you happy memories.
You know the difference between right and wrong and watch the news intently pointing out the wrong in this world and questioning me as to why it happens. My beautiful girl I wish I could hold you tight forever and it makes me so sad that one day you will grow into a woman and show all this to a family of your own. I long for these times but I also long for my baby to stay in my arms for ever. I’m torn between wanting you to continue to grow and nurture you through life’s experiences and keeping you small and protecting you forever. This love is endless and so for now I will keep you close and have another girls night and sleepover in my bed and wake up being smothered in kisses and cuddles for you are and always will be my angel, my perfect girl, my best friend, Tiana x