body confidence · exercise · self doubt · Uncategorized

Is there ever a good time to comment on someones weight?

So ever since I became a Mum my weight has fluctuated somewhere between 9.5 and 10 stone. For a long period I stayed towards the top end of that and at one stage I was nearly 10.5 stone. At no point during my bigger stage did a single person comment and say I looked fuller, I looked like I had put on weight or was looking “well”. I’m not saying one day I woke up and was bigger, it was a gradual thing and it was a gradual loss too.

For my wedding last year I worked really hard to get fitter and ended up the most toned I have ever been as a result. During this stage I was proud of how hard I had worked and when I got the occasional comment about how “trim” I was looking I was pleased and happy that my hard work was paying off. Now in December I had my braces fitted, this meant a significant drop in my ability to eat Christmas treats which would normally put a few pounds back on. This coupled with the initial shock of having this contraption fitted to my mouth, (train tracks upper and lower with a metal bar across the roof of my mouth), meant my teeth were so sensitive I had to learn a whole new way of eating again. I had to relearn how to move certain foods around my mouth and how to chew without my braces being covered in food, some foods I still cant eat now and some foods still get completely stuck everywhere. As a result some foods like crisps, biscuits and sweets are still completely off the menu. This has meant my weight has remained pretty much the same since December when my braces were fitted.

Over the last few weeks I have started to exercise again and have also joined a walking group once a week, we eat healthily but do allow ourselves treats on our days off. We seem to have naturally cut our alcohol intake also, this is partly due to budget and also due to working a lot and not really having time to sit and enjoy a drink together.

All these factors seem to have contributed to me losing a couple more pounds and now being lighter than I can ever remember at 9 stone. I haven’t been trying to lose weight, if anything I’ve been allowing myself more treats than I should do over the last month with a few coffee and cake dates and mothers day thrown in. This has just naturally happened and at first I was feeling great about it and couldn’t believe this was my weight, I have to admit I went through a stage of getting on the scales every day just to check, but now I seem to have lost some of my shape, my face is thinner than it ever has been and none of jeans fit.

I’ve simply been making the most of this with a new make up routine which makes the most of these cheekbones which have suddenly appeared, I’ve been wearing clothes I’ve had in the wardrobe for a long time and never felt comfortable in until now and this weekend I finally stopped pulling my jeans up, bit the bullet and got new ones a size smaller which actually fit! I think I had been denying that I needed any for the last couple of months because I kept thinking one day I would wake up and be half a stone heavier again. I don’t know why I am finding it so hard to accept that for some reason I have basically shrunk but I am taking some time to get my head around it.

So today I was told I looked thin.

Up until now I knew my face shape had changed, my body shape had changed and I’ve just been dealing with it the best I can, secretly worrying if I still look as feminine as before, but that didn’t come as a compliment. I wasn’t pleased about it and it didn’t make me happy.

When I replied with “Oh really?” (It was the most I could get out after the shock that someone would actually say that to me), I got back “Yes you are, there really is nothing of you these days!”

I really didn’t know what to say to this so quickly changed the subject, I just don’t know how people can think its ok to make such a comment on someones weight like that just because they have lost a few pounds. I really am trying to put some weight back on, i’m not starving myself and am taking some time to get my head around my new body shape so what I really don’t need is people telling me I look thin! Would they be making the same comment if I had put this much weight on, I think not! So what gives them the right to comment now I’ve lost it? Maybe I’m taking it too much to heart and maybe I should take it with a pinch of salt but for some reason this has really bothered me.

20170403_194017
After a day at work with hardly any makeup left on

What are your experiences of comments on your weight?

 

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4 thoughts on “Is there ever a good time to comment on someones weight?

  1. Honestly I don’t think it’s ever okay to comment on someone’s weight using a negative or ‘concerned’ tone. As someone who struggled with an eating disorder most of my teenage years my weight was something I was so sensitive about.
    People are far more than just the body they live in, wouldn’t it be nice instead if we talked about what someone’s like on the inside for a change rather than just their outward appearance?
    Just a thought, great post though!:)x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you 🙂 I was starting to wonder if I was just being a little sensitive! Do you know what I got a few comments last year when I was losing weight for my wedding that I looked happy and it must be the wedding and now I’m just losing weight with no end goal as far as they can see I’m just thin! Some people are never happy 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I hate the weight comments !
    I gained weight with my
    First baby and I haven’t lost it . When I’m back home I always run into someone and each time weight comes up . I just hate talking about it . I’d almost rather stay away until I can lose it again …

    Liked by 2 people

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