body confidence · comparison · January · philosophy · positive thinking · reflection · Uncategorized

Human nature or obsession? 

It’s apparently only ‘human nature’ to compare yourself to others. To look at someone else and think how you would like their hair or gym body. To be able to eat as much as they do and never put on a pound or to have their car, salary, confidence or even family relationships.

Nothing in life is handed to us and we all have to work for what we have so why do we insist on comparing ourselves daily to others around us? Whether it’s something small or big I can count at least 4 times so far today I’ve done it and that’s a good day. If it’s not in person it’s online, it might be to people we never even meet, to an online profile we don’t know is even real Instagram is a great one for that. 

It’s everywhere, in the workplace, school playground, friendship circles, everyone is doing it and if you are really on the bandwagon you will do it when you are on your own too! 

It’s true, I don’t need company to compare my life to someone else’s, I will either tell my husband or just keep it inside that I’ve made this comparison. 

Sometimes it will fester in my head and I won’t be able to stop thinking about how they have this and I have the other. How my life is different to theirs. I have a great life, I’m in a stable job, have a loving family and supportive friends yet still I can’t help it and neither can everyone else I know. What I don’t know is if it bothers anyone else as much as it bothers me.

Do they simply allow it to filter in and out of their brain or do they let it linger and eat away at them as I do? I wish I could walk round in a little bubble not letting anyone else’s lives or achievements bother me but it just doesn’t seem possible. Until then I will try, try to make a conscious effort to be less consumed by what others have/don’t have and more led by what I am trying to achieve for myself and my little family. After all life is too short to worry about what everyone else does with their lives, it’s upto us to make our own path and enjoy what we have instead of wishing we could walk in everyone else’s.

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15 thoughts on “Human nature or obsession? 

  1. I spent years comparing myself to others and feeling second best. I was never happy with my looks, my weight, my personality, a million things. I have very low self esteem. It got me in a lot of trouble. I’m trying to rebuild my life & self esteem by trying to help others not make the same mistakes I had.

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    1. I know exactly what you mean, it’s easy to appear confident on the outside but not be on the inside. Today I spent 7 hours training 3 people I had never met before but that doesn’t mean I felt any more confident, I’ve just been doing the job long enough that I can do it standing on my head and know how to appear confident even when I’m not. It’s really something I need to work on though as I feel like it takes up a lot of time in my head which could be spent thinking about worthwhile things!

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  2. The Hindu think we are crazy putting all our hopes in the future like we do. The idea you can’t enjoy your life today because you have to work towards securing tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and goes and then you are old. Too old to have the energy to enjoy life! But this was the future you have always worked for?
    That’s how suckers live! Balance your life now because everything falls apart in time. You will eventually die falling apart! Don’t worry so much and balance your mind out!
    😎

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  3. One way to help is to look at yourself and list all those qualities which other people might look at and wish they had – or so someone once told me. My response was tro wail “But there’s nothing!!!” Of course, this wasn’t true, but I wasn’t really in the right frame of mind to start to look at my own good points. Maybe try doing it when you are in a positive frame of mind, and then hold onto it for those darker moments.

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  4. As sad as it sounds, comparing ourselves to others is a natural thing. It has to do with power relations that is the basis of human relations. Foucault right about that. We cannot avoid it.
    But, and that is a big but, there are people who want us to feel bad with our personalities and bodies, to capitalize on that. Feel fat? Buy this. Feel bad? Icecream will make yo feel better. Happy? Cake. We have to grow our ability to understand these forces and train ourselves to to resist them. Of course things like overweight, which i myself have a few kilos to shed, is not healthy. But, a lot of the advertising media and so on, want us to be insecure, so we will cling to their products as a sevior. Just to find out that tomorow we will have to buy new stuff cu the moda is not the same.

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    1. Thanks so much for your great comment! I hadn’t thought of it like that before but of course we are trained from a young age to want things to go with certain emotions. Trying to fight that and live your life differently to the norm is a great way to avoid too much comparison but you are right there is no way to avoid it. Thanks again for commenting.

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