Family · Parenting · reflection · Sisters · thoughtful · Uncategorized

Family relationships over 2017

As we approach December I find myself starting look back on my family relationships during the year. Let’s face it families aren’t perfect wherever you are in the world and I’m sure mine have less problems than most but that doesn’t stop me trying. Trying to create the ‘perfect family relationships’. If there even is such a thing. All I know is another year has passed and I find myself no closer to that family bond I feel like I’ve been searching for forever. 
Ok with my sister in New York and my brother in Japan I don’t expect to be going round for tea every week, I would just like to be in touch more. As it is at the moment the only contact we have now is through Instagram, which I only installed so I could keep up with their lives as they are both too busy to message occasionally to see how we are. I understand everyone is busy and I have to admit I’ve even given up slightly this year on my sister’s side because it’s always so hard to get a response or a conversation going when I do message, it’s easier to just not message and then I won’t be disappointed when I don’t get the response I was after. My brother I made a big effort with before he went off to Japan and was in contact regularly, went to visit him and contacted him regularly through his first few days and weeks just to check in but still he was a day late saying Happy birthday to me.
I feel like he will go the same way, I will end up not messaging so I don’t get disappointed.

Closer to home my extended family is still something I’m struggling to feel like I belong in. I think at the start of Scott and my relationship I made a massive effort and had playdates, coffee catch ups etc. As time has gone on it has felt like no one else really wanted to make this effort so I stepped back slightly. I feel like they have a lot in common with each other that I’m not a part of, they have been family for a lot longer than I have been we are talking over 10 years here compared to my 4, but I feel like this year I’ve felt more on the outside than ever.

I guess this is a continual process that will hopefully grow as my years in the family grow, for now I’m left feeling almost nervous when we do meet up because I just dont have the closeness they have.

When it comes to my immediate family my relationship with my mother continues to be up and down as it always has been. The fact is we are different people and have completely different ways of thinking, she would never think to make herself available for my daughter’s birthday party wheras when I am a lucky enough to have a grandchild I will be the first one in line at their party, and any single time grandparents are invited into school you just think about stopping me! Once again I never give up trying, asking for these things but always end up disappointed when they don’t happen.

My Nan is my rock,my closest family member. We talk all the time and she knows everything about me, she knows when T has a parents evening or I have the orthodontist, she knows how hard Scott and I work and how we always put everyone else before ourselves hence why money is often tight. She doesn’t use this against us and sees us for who we are, always being there, without judgement,  with unconditional love for all of us.

I don’t know how many more years I will go on wishing my family bonds were closer but I know it’s been years so far and still the relationships remain the same. All I can do is show T myself how close a family unit should be and hopefully when she grows up we I will finally have my close family unit I’ve always wanted.
Thanks for reading 

Lou x

Chester Bennington · Depression · Grief · Linkin Park · Loss · thoughtful · Uncategorized

Linkin Park remember Chester.

So I’ve spent today catching up on the Linkin Park tribute to Chester Bennington and I have to say it was amazing. 

At first I had mixed feelings about hearing other people sing his songs as Chester’s voice was so distinctive there is simply no replacing him. I felt other voices didn’t do the songs justice and like they were taking something away from him by giving the songs their own twist and style. It was like I was forgetting how Chester sounded because all I could hear were the guest artists. 

But the more I watched the more I realised that Mike and the rest of the band were just simply trying to remember their friend by playing the songs he loved to perform. Mike did a lot of the vocals and some songs he just let the crowd sing completely which as soon as I heard these songs start I actually said out loud ‘how are you going to sing this one?’ Turns out he knew he couldn’t and it had to be up to the fans which was the perfect thing to do.

The moments inbetween songs where they shared funny clips of Chester, My daughter and I will always love ‘Lollipops and Unicorns’ simply because it makes us smile and sing along, were all so personal and is something I’m sure the fans appreciated massively. To stand there and read from a script and pretend like it was any other show would have been wrong and that’s not what they did. They stood up there and celebrated a great artist, they had fun remembering their friend, the moments they shared and the great music they created and they shared that with the world, Not for profit, Not for a new DVD but for free online because they wanted it to be available to everyone!

They highlighted the charities they supported as a band and the One More Light foundation which has been set up in Chester’s name and his wife Talinda stood very bravely infront of the crowd for several minutes thanking the world for their support. This part was probably the most emotional for me hearing her voice break was tough but I willed her to carry on and she did finishing with a very poignant “fuck depression!” 

The artists and talent that came together to make this concert really did showcase Chester’s talent along with the rest of the band and did one hell of a job performing tracks that at times must have been very emotional for them. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotions from happy to sad, from rocking out to rapping and feeling great about the legacy that has been left from the years this band were together. 

Another tagline from the show was ‘Make Chester Proud’ well guys I think he would have been damn proud of what you all achieved there. It was something that will be remembered by fans across the world for years to come and thanks to you and your incredible music Chester Bennington will not be forgotten. 

I only hope his music continues to reach out to those in need and people who need it the most. Depression and mental health is real, it is happening, You never know the battle that is being fought in someone’s head even when there is a smile on their face a silent war could be raging so be kind, be interested, show compassion and be genuine, you never know when it might just make someone’s day.

RIP Chester, you will not be forgotten.

Adult braces · Anniversary · Blogger · career · Children · Cockapoo · dogs · eat the rainbow · family time · fitness · food diary · Friendship · Halloween · Healthy eating · healthy parenting · hobbies · homemade · horse riding · Husband · Long distance families · making memories · Marriage · motherhood · Mum winning · Orthodontist · Parenting · Puppy · thoughtful · Uncategorized · walking · walking for fitness · walking for fun · walking holidays · Writing

The New Mrs M makes a year! 

Wow I can’t believe I made a year! When I started this blog it was as an outlet to share my experiences with braces as an adult and to hopefully learn from other people’s journey also. The thing is it’s turned into much more than that! I’ve learned I love to document my life! Sharing experiences, hobbies, days out, trips away, special moments gives me real enjoyment and it’s the lovely comments and likes I get from readers around the world that keeps me writing. I have written about so many things in the last year from my experiences as a step parent to buying our puppy last year. I’ve talked about my love of being married and the happiness it brings to my struggles of trying to progress a career while still being a present parent. I’ve continued to document my experiences with braces and will keep on doing so in the hope that they help others deliberating whether or not to take the plunge or are already on their journey. My new found love of walking/hiking has been a hot topic over the summer months this year culminating in a walking challenge which saw me walk over 80 miles in a month!

This blog has been like a journal at times being the first thing I want to do when I’m going through a tough time and a way to vent my frustration while also sometimes allowing me to see my opinions in a different light.

Reviews of places I’ve been have almost become a part of the experience now and it’s a given to my husband that some of the many photos I take will be specifically for my blog. If I can show someone how great a place was or how dog friendly somewhere can be and they can enjoy it as much as I did then my writing is all worthwhile.

There are plenty of mum blogs out there and I don’t just write about my experiences as a Mum but this has also been a huge part of my blog. Again if I can show someone else what we get up to and they enjoy doing it then why not!

Whatever my chosen topic is I would just like to say thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read my posts, like them and leave a comment. Without your interest I wouldn’t have continued to write and had 2 pieces published, something I would never even have attempted to do before this!

My plan for the future is to keep blogging, sharing my happy times and my sad times too, hopefully helping others with my braces experiences and reviewing everywhere I go!

I hope you’ve enjoyed my journey so far and here’s to the next year!

Lou x

Anniversary · happy · Husband · Looking back · Love · thoughtful · Uncategorized

Reasons I love being married- 1 year today.

Exactly 1 year ago today I became a wife. I remember the day like it was yesterday, the nerves, the excitement, the pride at walking down the aisle with my Dad by my side then into the hands of my future husband and then elation at walking down the aisle knowing we had done it, we were husband and wife! 
So over the last year I have come to realise some of the reasons I love being married. I know I’m still a newbie to this but this is just  how I feel about it all;

1. I love my new name. My old name meant very little to me, infact it was a constant reminder of my birth father who I have no contact with and haven’t seen since I was 16. I thought it was me, it was who I was but since changing my name I’ve realised it was just a name, it wasn’t me, I’m still the same me just without the tie of a name I never liked. I feel more confident and sure announcing my name now than I have done in my whole life.

2. I love how it started off feeling alien,  to say I had a husband made me feel old, different and I wasn’t immediately comfortable saying it, over the phone, in conversation or to someone new. Now I love being able to say I have a husband. The security and pride I feel every time I can say the words “my husband” is something I hope never goes away.

3. I feel like I’m providing a secure, stable and happy home for T showing her how you can be happy before marriage, (we were together 3 years before our wedding day) and after being married. Our family has just got closer and closer since our wedding day and we talk about it all the time along with making references to being married, how Scott is my husband and I’m his wife and T is learning how being married means you are in a happy relationship full of love, fun and teamwork.

4. I feel like marriage brings us closer as a team. We look out for each other, the house is ran together, parenting is a joint responsibility, looking after our puppy is a team effort and any problems or issues that come up are faced together as a team. There is no longer a separation or independence but a togetherness that means we can face any challenges that come our way.

5. I married my soul mate. I’ve had ups and downs with friendships and even friendships end since I’ve been married but I know I will always have my husband by my side. Whether it’s to cuddle under a blanket and listen to my worries or  take me and the dog on a long walk round the lake one evening holding hands and watching the sunset I know he will always be there for me.

6. I love that we have so much more to come!  We are just at the beginning and even though we want to do it all now we have the rest of our lives to build more amazing memories and keep making each other happy.

Happy Anniversary darling, thank you for a wonderful first year xxx

Family · making memories · motherhood · Parenting · philosophy · Thankful · thoughtful · Uncategorized

Finding time to make memories because life is short

These days time is even more in short supply, with the constraints of a working life, hobbies, keeping relationships with friends close, adding in playdates for your children and just generally maintaining your house where do you find time to make memories and just have fun? 

We are all guilty of just wanting to sit and zone out while we mindlessly scroll through pages of social media, it’s just the way people relax these days but it’s far too easy to forget our little people grow so quickly and are not little for long. Time is precious and so even if it’s for a few minutes at a time I always make sure I take the time to put my phone down and actually listen to what T has to say, properly listen. 

Only when we are fully in the moment can happy memories be made and fun times had. 

Like when I climbed the tree house Sunday to eat my ice cream with T, there was no social media, no distractions, just for a few minutes it was just us two eating ice creams in her den. Perfect.

Don’t get me wrong little people can talk, and talk, and talk about mostly pointless things but sometimes it does us good to just listen. To remember what it is like to be little and how important it is to cherish those funny things they say because one day they will realise how silly they sound and stop saying them. 

T a couple of weeks ago ‘I am growing up you know Mummy!!’ We couldn’t stop laughing! 

So take a minute, inbetween loads of washing, on the way to school, after dinner and homework to just appreciate the little things, build those happy memories because life is short and moments matter.

RIP to the zookeeper that lost her life yesterday at the zoo we happened to be visiting at the time. 

Make every minute count, You never know what is round the corner.